


The "Lost" Mission

by Greenherbs98



Category: Call of Duty, modern warfare
Genre: Call of Duty - Freeform, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-18 19:16:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenherbs98/pseuds/Greenherbs98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The holidays have arrived and that means the Delta Task Force is finally on break. With the stirring of emotions, the unrest arguments with the ones they love, and an old face once gone with the past Frost and Sandman must band together to survive and come to terms with their buried emotions and desires.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Trouble with Travel

Location- Nigeria, Africa

 

Mission: Regain control of the Nigerian Republican refugee camp.

 

Commander: Derek “Frost” Westbrook (Volunteering as Commander)

 

Time: 13th December 2014 0200 HOURS (2:00 a.m.)

 

 

FROST

 

I gave a low sigh as I sat in my room on the crappy mattress with a thick blanket wrapped over my thighs with my bare feet resting on the cold metal floor, the Ilyushin Il-96 was whipping through the winds of the African ocean coast, I was still going over the idea of regaining the control of the refugee camp in Nigeria I look to my left seeing the thick folder full of maps and list of names with pictures on them of Americans who were missing in the refugee camp and the names and documents of refugees of Nigeria that were over taken some were dead there pictures scattered on the floor of decapitated heads, bullet holes ruined into the torsos of men, women and children it was mess and bit hard to stomach. I sighed again as I ran a hand through my short thick brunette hair as I glanced at myself in the mirror above the sink, my sharp green eyes I took in my features sighing again my eyes are sunken deep with bags under them my cheeks a bit thinner with a thick bristle of hair my beard growing back again, but the rest of me was fit and lean my chest puffed out and I can see veins running criss cross across my biceps and chest and up to my neck. Soon I'm on my feet walking over to my duffle bag I crouch down next to it by the door and opened the small pouch pulling out the black leather covered book I felt 'it' coming over me again. I stood up still in my grey boxers soon I made my way back to the bed and put my pillow over the files as I rubbed my thumb over the thick limp bulge in place. Shaking my head I pull myself from the distraction and flip the book open going to the one chapter I suddenly have become fond of. 

 

The warm summer air of the month of July was beaming hard through the Oklahoma state of a private owned boxing gym. In the inside the flooring was made of cement flooring with thick black and blue mats thrown on top that took some of the heat off thankfully. Off in the far left corner about ten feet from the changing room hitting the bag repeatedly beating at with right hooks, duck, and left jab at the center of the bag his thick blonde curls tied in a ponytail behind him. His sun kissed skin had beads of sweat rolling down his temples, cheeks, neck, collarbone, his bare hairless chest, toned stomach and then to disappear below the waist of gym shorts. His fist and wrist bound tight with his sharp deep chocolate brown eyes fixed on his target his nostrils flaring as he breathed in deep but the sound of a "THUD" makes him spin on the balls of his feet to see his mixed apprentice had dropped his duffle bag onto the floor and staring at him wide eyes and a flushed face. He dropped his arms as he stared at the young 20 something year old, with blue denim jeans, a black wife beater, a black leather jacket, and black timberland boots. 

"So you finally show up, late as usual should I be surprised?" The blonde asked with a raised brow his smirk shown on his strong jaw and clean shaven face as he started to unravel the binds on his hands as the young mixed apprentice hopped from one foot to the other uncomfortable all of sudden being held under his strong gaze. "I got held up in traffic th-" He was caught off quickly and felt the dark ringlets of of his hair pulled back as the blonde male forced his lips onto his snatching the words from his mouth and warm lips suckling on his. The mixed apprentice tangled his long fingers into the blonde's bun as he grabbed at the hair tie and snatched it free letting the long strands of blonde hair free cascading over his shoulders as he slid his right arm down and his large hand grabbing a handful of his mixed apprentice left ass cheek squeezing hard as he was able to get a gasp from his cupid bow lips letting his long slick pink tongue push into his mouth pressing it against his tongue as he pushed his pelvis against his mixed apprentice groin stirring the fire inside him as he suddenly was pushed away by the mixed apprentice who was blushing hard his brown almost orange eyes glowed with a fiery passion in them.

"I- I think we should concentrate on the work out first". He said breathless as he was shaking and the strain in his blue denim jeans said he had another idea about a 'different work out'. The blonde gave a deep chuckle as as he stared into the hazel brown eyes in front of him his dark brown eyes taking in the detail of his small hips and strong thighs as he shook his head slowly. "Alright then whatever, go get changed and hurry up" was all the blonde said as he turned around and went back to punching the bag while his mixed apprentice went to change as he walked by and gave his ass a smack making his apprentice yelp and blush red before running off quickly to the changing room.

The blonde had his eyes rubbing over his apprentice torso as he was doing push ups his eyes watching the trail of sweat ran down the length of his back that made his dick hard as he back a groan at the idea of his apprentice on all fours right now. He listened to his apprentice breathing hard and the sound of muffled words as he counted. He leaned over and grabbed his apprentice shoulder which made his muscles stiffen immediately as he spread his legs on either sides of his waist as he kicked the back of his left knee bending it as he rested it against the floor. He smirked at him as he rubbed his chin before sliding his large hands down the toned muscles of his sides as he grabbed his hips squeezing the muscles of his hips as his apprentice groaned feeling himself being pulled against the firm bulge pressing against him.

Frost was groaning as he pumped his hand up and down his long thick penis, his hands smoothly pumping the stiffness as his face was flushed and drops of sweat were rolling down his face as he bit his bottom lip with his green eyes flicking over the erotica work in front of him. He blamed himself for never indulging in these instincts he never really considered himself a Homosexual he did have girlfriends but not long lasting relationships but as he fisted his leaking member with his eyes rolling in the back of his head as he felt himself starting to reach that point of no return his mind ran off over to a tan, tall 6'1, blonde with blue eyes and scruffy looking beard kissing his chest as his fingers ran down his back and over his thighs as he moaned out the name that followed with a short curse, "Sandman! Fuck!" He slapped a hand over his mouth as he yelled into his cupped hand as he spilled his seed all over his belly and chest with a grunt. "Damn it, why 'him'?" He questioned himself out loud as he got up and went to the small closet grabbing a white washcloth soon going over to the sink and heating the water as he cleaned himself wiping the cum off his belly and chest and soon off his penis as he sighed looking at his flaccid penis with a sigh before staring at himself in the mirror again he ran his fingers through his thick brunette hair with a stone face. "I'm not gay" was all he mumbled to himself as as he got dressed and settled into the bed.

 

SANDMAN

 

Location:Atlanta, GA

 

Mission: Off Duty return to civilian soil holidays with the family

 

Commander:None

 

Time: 13 December 2014 0200 HOURS (2:00 A.M)

 

I hate December for one blatant reason, my cousin Sean won't ever shut up about the military forcing soldiers to stay overseas during the holidays when they should be with family, maybe if he shut up and took his 2011 Lexus and shoved it up his ass maybe he would understand he's one of the many reasons many of us actually stay behind or volunteer work into hostile territory, he is one of the few idiots that never know what their talking about and listen to brainwashing bullshit that makes it hard to sit through a whole dinner with him which is why, I sit on the porch swing listening to the owls hooting loudly as a sharp cold breeze runs through cutting straight into my black denim jeans as I pull my black leather jacket around myself shielding my white button down shirt as I can hear my 75 year old father yelling something about the Eagles being the greatest football team in America, I kind of just don't care since he enjoys it and it makes him smile, after Mom died Dad just didn't jump right back it took years for him to do so but we were patient for him. My younger brother was talking about the Dallas Cowboys and I was on my feet in seconds walking off the porch before I got dragged into it.

I was walking down the road in deep thought the clouds were thick tonight ready to bury us in a white blanket of snow, I the color of white since it only reminded me of bed sheets covering the dead bodies of the Fallen soon to be soaked in patches of crimson and later be examined and burned. I shake my head and continue my walk down the sidewalk seeing the Christmas decorations up and the beautiful white moon glowing bright in the night sky. I run my right hand through my blonde peach fuzz hair as it slowly was growing back now. I couldn't get my mind off Frost though, he was going to spend his first of four weeks of leave on a volunteer mission in the rebellion Nigeria country I couldn't understand that guy for a second always wearing a scarf around his neck and face and sunglasses too with long sleeve shirts and pants. He was just odd, sat alone with that little black book, he just listen never really talked except to give an order and nanny that was it. I would crack a joke or two when he was around he would just shake his head and just listen that was it always, it became a routine job for us. What I was really curious about was where Frost is from he just says "It's a cold place". He's just so damn quiet and mysterious it's annoying when you try to talk to him on a daily basis at least Roach is more active in socializing with other humans than "Mr. Jack Frost". I make my way home to see my brother Cole outside smoking a cigarette, should've known he was smoking again must be the kids again. Marching up the porch steps he gives a chuckle and a amused smile as he exhales through his nose a large cloud of smoke escaping into the air. "You look like the time you came back from prom early because your date caught you trying to hide the snake in the backyard with her older brother." Cole chuckled through his perfect straight white teeth. "Go chew on a cigarette and make a new baby" I said with a grunt as he huffed at me. "Fuck you man, but seriously what is bothering you?" He asked as his cobalt blue eyes stared into my darker blue eyes. "Just waiting for Christmas to be over and the new year to begin" was all I said as I took my previous seat on the porch swing while Cole leaned back against the railing staring at me. "You need to get laid sir" is all that blurted from his lips as he grinned at me. I just blinked at him and snorted my apparent disapproval till he just got silent and looked at the floor for awhile. "Andrew bro, I love you, you're my brother but the fact is this, you're a 45 year old man, unmarried, no kids, a bisexual flirtatious dick at times that and you're a workaholic which you use as an excuse to avoid having time with your family and only when you're forced to." He blurted it out like it was unexpected but I would hear the same thing from Dad all the time which just got ignored to completely avoided at all cost. "Cole I'm happy okay I just enjoy my work more than I do enjoying myself in a relationship with someone else." As these words left my lips I knew I was lying to myself and him, I sounded like someone I knew but who?


	2. Coming Back

FROST

 

I braced my back against an old rusted truck as one of the recruits a blonde woman around the age of 38 pressing her hands with a thick rag against the joint of my shoulder was pooling with blood from the gaping hole. My hearing was blown but it would come back in a few minutes the muffled noises and her yelling was a dull sound as I tried to focus on her lips watching her trying to form different words or instructions of some sort I just shook my head at her not sure how to speak to her. She pushed me down onto my butt as her left hand dug into the back pocket and pulled out some cylinder device I have never seen in my life, it was at most 7 inches long and about 2.6 inches in width her thumb moved over the top and the point I was staring at was spinning with a blue light inside and she shoved it straight into my shoulder I felt the air and the small cylinder point rotating at a fast pace there was a suction thing on and I felt the sudden tear again as the cylinder device ripped the bullet out of the joint ripping I suppose a scream from my throat as she pulled the cylinder device free as she threw it to the side then grabbed some small tube from the same back pocket and pressed it into the injury it was hot like boiling water being poured into a open cut I must've screamed again.

After a few minutes had finally passed the bullets stopped firing then one of the recruits rushed over quickly and crouched at my side with a grin on his face. "We won sir, The Republican of Nigeria is secured, call in the choppers? " He asked with excitement his nose was broken as blood was spilled over his upper lip and down over his chin, he had pale skin but thick lips and his hazel eyes were hidden underneath the thick eyelashes. I nodded slowly at him as he grabbed the radio on his hip and called it in the mission was a success and we were all headed home now. Once everyone was boarded onto the chopper we flew back to base but I still felt uneasy about something till I looked to my right and noticed that the guy from earlier was staring at me and I narrowed my eyes at him so he quickly looked the other side I shrugged it off as the chopper landed onto the massive battleship and we climbed out and we're met by the medic team. I was exhausted and needed to be alone the sunlight was bearing on my head and down the back of my neck. I felt hands grabbing my good shoulder as I was stopped by a man, he was definitely past the age of retirement and he was inspecting my injured shoulder.

"Pretty messy work but not so bad looking it will heal fine but you will have scar young man." He said like I was new to this I just gave a nod as he passed me a medical sling to put my arm in. I ducked my head past him and moved forward through the people and to the 'Round Room".

 

SANDMAN

 

Location: Atlanta, GA

 

Time: 14th December 20014 0900 HOURS (9:00 a.m.)

 

I laid in my old bedroom staring at the ceiling of an old Queen poster with my fingers tangled in my short blonde locks of hair as I stroked the stubble on my face with a lazy grin as my mind wonder off to something more pleasing that was stirring between my thighs. I was getting a good little image inside my head of a tall, lean build, with big green eyes and a nice smile. The hand from my beard went to stroking my neck imagining a pair of strong hands there holding on for support while my tongue was busy making his mouth to busy to make a sound. I followed in line with my hand to my belly tracing the edges of my abs as his hands would roam over my chest and with my hands around his hips drawing him in closer to smaller proximity of our erections hidden underneath the cotton of our boxers as I would reach over to grab the firm butt into my hands and give it a squeeze before pulling him up with his legs wrapped tight around my thick muscular waist. I'm groaning at this point feeling the rising stiffness in my boxers as I pulled at my short locks of hair with a hiss. I would have him pressed against a wall definitely against the solid white wall next to my massive scene windowsill, right across the street from my favorite coffee shop. I would have his lips trembling while mine would leave him breathless as my lips skim across his soft cheek and rough stubble of his beard while pinching at his already firm nipples. I let my hand play and tease across the little blonde hair under my bellybutton and down hidden underneath my boxers hiding the raging monster stirring to the occasion. Slipping my hand down into the boxers grasping the leaking member into my fist stroking long and hard as my eyes rolls back and all I can imagine is him rolled onto his back with his legs spread wide open with my hand wrapped around his leaking erection with wanton moans with slow deep thrust inside of his tight warm heat. Biting my bottom lip I try to muffle the noise with a beautiful image of a gorgeous dark haired man in my bed begging so desperately for release I could give him if I feel like it. "Westbrook you bastard" I said with a mumbled effort, damn not "him" again.


	3. The Family Invitation

FROST

 

Location: Bryson City, NC

 

Time: 14th December 2014 0600 HOURS (6:00 a.m.)

 

I gave a slow exhale as I straighten my back while I pulled my button up shirt on and buttoned it with one hand while I brushed my teeth while I stared at myself in the mirror my goatee needed a shape up or I should just shave it off whichever came first before I go to see my family. I fixed my tie with a grunt with the strong minty taste of my toothpaste burning my cheeks but nothing I couldn't handle really. I went off to my bathroom spit and rinsed my mouth with the warm water before spitting it out again. I washed my tooth brush off then placed it in the cup holder before walking out and fixing my tie as I grabbed my jacket pulling it on and buttoning the front one button as I soon fixed my collar and swept my hair back as I stared at myself in the mirror my shoulder was still killing me as I went to my side dresser and popped the two Advil into my mouth and took a swig of the water next to it swallowing it down hard as I gagged a bit, I hated taking painkillers. Pulling on the Medical sling I slipped my arm into it before grabbing my car keys and making my way to the front door which was open with my luggage waiting out in the front. I went to my 1971 Buick GSX, popping the trunk open I started to place bag after bag into the trunk my two duffle bags in the back seat before climbing into the front and programming my GPS to direct the way to Bronx, New York. I took the I-81 N stopping at toll after toll I could feel this 11 hour drive was making me extremely tired more than I liked.Some time right around 5 in the afternoon I arrived to Northwest Fordham Road neighborhood, I drove slow as I found a spot and soon parallel parked into the space. 

Climbing out the car the apartment door slammed opened and out came my older brother Caleb stepping out with a pair of denim jeans on with brown a graphic t-shirt of zombies on it. I rolled my eyes as I walked over and shook his hand as I hugged him tight with my still good arm as he kissed both sides of my cheeks with a smile. He had a clean shaved face unlike mine with long shoulder length dirty blonde hair and big green eyes and a square jaw with a nose like our dad “Aldric Westbrook” our German-American father, I took after our mother’s appearance “Homa Khojassteh”a mixed Persian Lebanese woman from Iran . He went toward my car after we parted and popped my trunk open and started grabbing my bags as I helped him.

 

Entering his apartment I took in the sight of his tall white muscular dog with big deep brown eyes perk his ears up as he stared at me his long muzzle is grey smoky color as he blinked at me his fluffy tail wagged back and forth lazily as he ran over to my brother and pushed past me and knocked him over as licked his face excitedly as he chuckled at the large dog. There were footsteps that followed from close behind and suddenly appearing out of nowhere was my little cousin Juno with her warm deep laugh, her long midnight black hair with spiral curls cascaded over her shoulders and down her waist she was wearing this deep red ruffled wrap dress in a black pair of wedges her soft hazel green eyes sparkled with her skin splattered with moles across her cheeks, neck, torso, arms, and down to her legs with her feet, unlike myself that had moles across my chest, shoulders, backside and my thighs. We definitely inherited this trait from our Persian background of my mother and her sisters. She hugged me tight before letting go as my brother finally was able to get off the floor and walk over to us finally his face though was covered in dog slobber for the most part. I took a seat on his couch in the living room that was like any other Persian household that has a lot pillows with different colors of many different shades of red, blue, green, and yellow but comfy none the less. My brother and cousin take a seat around me as we begin to talk and discuss about politics, military ( I stay out of mostly), and our family who were coming to visit also like our aunts, uncles, and more cousins we have on our mother’s side unlike our German-American father a majority that lived in America soon left around ‘02 for some reason our father was one of them as well. 

 

Right around 7, we got changed and left to the streets heading to the subway station and took the tube upstate New York. We came to a stop and made our way off the train I was bumped into repeatedly and felt someone grab my shoulder and a loud laugh bellowing from the laugh. “Roach?” I muttered as I turned my head and stared wide eyed at the man in front of me. he was clean cut as usual, with sharp deep brown eyes and that goofy grin on his stupid face. “Well damn, it’s good to see you man, it’s been a long break since I last saw you at the volunteer counter, what have you been up to?” he asked as the train doors closed behind me with a gust of wind hitting at my backside and the train sped down the dark tunnel. I glanced over his shoulder to where my brother and cousin were standing by waiting for me I guided him over to them with a smile “I did a small mission, and now I’m headed to the Queens with my brother and cousin to visit the rest of my family, and this is my brother Caleb and my cousin Juno.” I said as I introduced them each. Roach was quick to gather my cousin Juno’s hands into his as he shook them both gently with a small grin on his face that made her blush in response as my brother Caleb cleared his throat when he noticed how long this handshake was going on for. Roach soon let go and shook my brother’s hand as he looked at me with a raised brow. “You never told me you were related to America’s Next Supermodels” he said with a chuckle as Juno’s cheeks and my own brother’s cheeks burned bright red on their faces, making a laugh come from me. “No, their just family, we just have good looks” I said with a smirk as Caleb laughed a bit. "By the way, Serge is having a this New Year feast at his loft, I think he sent out a whole text message to us, you did get it right?" Roach said as he was fishing his phone out of his pocket looking through his text messages as I raised an eyebrow at that. "Wait, so then Sandman really lives here? He literally lives in New York City, craaaaap!" I say inside of my head as I gave a nod toward him, I guess giving confirmation to the date. We shake hands before going our separate ways and moving toward the stairs and walking up the flight of dirty staircases and then up the city streets and looking around we started the long cold walk to the restaurant our uncle Nasr, he was the first one in our entire family to come to America who brought our mother to America and the rest of the family with her. The restaurant had expanded over time from a small corner restaurant to now a large expansion that once could seat 150 people to now 300 people. There was all sorts who walked in there they were either good or bad it doesn’t matter uncle welcomed all no matter what. 

Entering the restaurant we were immediately pushed to the back on the upstairs section of the restaurant, which to my surprise I knew little about that part of the restaurant as we went to the top and there we were greeted by the rest of the family, there was immediate hugs, and kisses with greetings in the family language as we went to the table and there it was decorated with plates of food piled high on top of each other. As we stepped forward inside our Aunt Takisha immediately saw us from the corner and embraced us she had freckles across her face and her long black hair shined with strands of grey across it. Her yellow hijab around her head and her warm brown eyes shined with a happiness in them that made my heart swell with pride from my family. I looked over her shoulder and saw our little cousin from our Uncle Hazim (may God rest his soul) Kahlil with his tight black curls bouncing on his head as he ran to me and immediately bending over I scooped him into my arms and hugged him tight kissing his soft left cheek full of kisses. His mother Zeinab had her black chador on, she had gained some weight due to her pregnancy with Kahlil, she had moved to New Jersey after our Uncle Hazim had died and she just grieved for about 3 years. Uncle Hazim was our favorite relative, the first one to get his citizenship and the first one to enlist in the army. But the day before he left to boot camp, he was unfortunately shot and killed outside a convenience store getting some candy for Zeinab during her pregnancy since she had started getting food cravings. The police never found his killer and we had to bury him during the coldest autumn in New York. My brother was very quiet since that day happened, many of our relatives mostly the men became fearful of their lives, our mother Homa, I saw her sitting in a nearby corner drinking a cup of tea looking down at the streets. She was dressed in a light blue dressed with a long sleeve silk pattern and her long chocolate brown hair was down her back with her light sand brown skin her eyes were a green aqua color that looked grey now due to her age. I took a step forward but stopped she looked at me with narrowed eyes as she got to her feet as she walked over to us slowly, I put our little cousin down and let him run off to our cousin. She seemed to glide across the floor as she walked over to me and Caleb. She looked at us closely doing simple light touches to us, Caleb quickly held her hand and kissed each knuckle as her one hand squeezed my good wrist. “Mom, I missed you…” I said as I embraced her tight.


	4. Thoughts in the Dawn

SANDMAN

 

Location: Atlanta, GA

 

Time: 14th December 2014 HOURS 0600 (6:00 a.m.)

 

Coming downstairs from my old bedroom, my stomach was growling wanting to be fed now, not at a later convenience. All I knew at the moment is that my favorite cereal brand 'Honey Bunches of Oats' is waiting for me in the cupboard as patiently as can be. But something made me stop once I reached the hallway that led toward the kitchen to see none other than 'her'. The dirty blonde haired, hazel brown eyes, 5'3'' nightmare in my father's fucking kitchen reading a cookbook. 

"Hey there..... Tracy" I said with a forced smile through gritted teeth, I was mentally cursing myself for walking into the kitchen of all times with no shirt on. Tracy on the other hand turned her head toward me and that slim smile crossed her pale, skinny, bony like face. Her nose was far to sharp for the sharp cheekbones she has, and the most irritating part is her goddamn drawn on eyebrows. Her hair was tied in a high ponytail, with her bangs swept to the left. She was wearing this white tang top that was slightly see through with acid washed jeans on. She definitely couldn't fit them anymore but I guess she was trying to build back that 'sexy appeal' my brother would brag about all the time. All I saw was prom night gone wrong.

Giving a quick nod to her I made a break toward the cupboard and grabbed my box of cereal, shaking it quickly only to find it almost completely empty. Tracy giggled at my expression of an empty box of cereal. "I can make something for you big guy, whatever you like, I can do it". There was that damn smile again, the years of smoking finally turned her teeth yellowish and very unappealing to look at. "Nah. I'm good, I was heading to the diner anyway to get some coffee." Is all I say as I start to move away quickly putting the cereal back as well. "Hopefully, not dressed like that?" She said this with a husky voice that made me retreat even faster out the kitchen. Nodding I made my way back to the staircase and back up the stairs to grab a shirt and then to leave quickly as soon as I arrived.

Once in my dad's 1985 Chevy pick up truck, I'm out the driveway and on the road making my way to "Emilia's Diner" for some coffee. As I'm driving I see my brother’s KIA, all silver with the busted hood, I slow down as he begins to slow down also then looks at me. I slowly roll down my window as I watch my brother do the same as his "Can you please control your hormonal wife, as much as I love you, she needs to learn the difference between normal and creepy." I noticed my brother’s eyes downcast and brow furrowed as he gave a quick nod as he rolled his window up and drove quickly down the street like a bat out of hell. I just shake my head and drive on wards to the diner sitting at a few lights the city is packed with bodies and footsteps of domestication moving on a clock to get where they need to be. The urgency to move makes me tense, I straighten my back and straighten my arms running a hand through my thick hair as I turn my blue gaze to the diner. “I really just want to eat something…” I say as I mumble to myself quietly. I then hear the familiar ding on my iPhone as i quickly fish into the pocket of my jeans fishing out the small device wherever i buried it deep inside of. Putting my code in I stared at my messages seeing it was Roach. I quickly responded as the light turned green and I drove straight toward the diner waiting for me right up ahead as I pulled into a parking space.

Roach (Bed Bug): hey Sandy! Just wanted to remind you that I finally got the Abominable Snow man to agree to come to the barbecue.  
Sandman: Thanks man I appreciate it. By the way what are you doing up so early?  
Roach (Bed Bug): Having breakfast with the neighborhood pest :p  
Sandman: That's gross Roach, please keep the apartment clean I really don't feel like getting anymore bombs for your place again.  
Roach (Bed Bug): I'm kidding man, I'm not like Scarecrow and his weird fascination with Spiders.  
Sandman: Preach! Hey I got to go pulling up to a spot  
Roach (Bed Bug): Gotcha text you later.

Stepping into the diner I took a quick seat to a booth, it had that firm feeling of the 60’s in its way I had the waitress Tamara show up and serve me a popping hot cup of coffee with four spoonfuls of sugar with milk. I stir it quietly as I breathe in the rich smell of coffee into my lungs, it was different from smelling gun powder, and iron, not to mention the smell of smoke wafting through the air made my hairs on my arms stand high and stretch up as I shook my head and sipped my coffee. I took two full gulps of it feeling the hairs limp brushing the skin just barely as I begin to relax finally before deciding to stare at the menu at last seeing the different meals they had. I stared at it for awhile feeling the urge to just ask for packet rations instead of actual food.

After awhile my waitress returns carrying her notepad and pens on the front pocket of her apron. Immediately I order four Flapjack pancakes, two sunny side up eggs, three sausage links and same exact with bacon and some hash browns with it. She seemed pretty surprised by the order but smiled but left to rechieve for my morning meal. Sitting there I let my mind drift off as I kept myself staring at the cup of coffee. Staring at the light brown my mind drew back to Westbrook (Frost), the first time our eyes met I felt the air drain from my lungs, his hair matted and cheek smeared with blood and nose broken and a bruise forming underneath his left eye and his ripped wide open with all his skin bare with red sharp lines criss cross his strong stomach and chest bruises forming in obvious place, his breathing ragged and desperate for air and the pool of blood forming around his thick boots and his fist curled up ready for a fight. I could do nothing but stare at him he looked like a wolf baring his fangs and cornered but wasn’t caving for the fight in a moment, but feeling around his wasn’t agitation or anger, it was… calmness. No one fights like him, or gets it done as fast he just smoothes his movements with speed and accuracy it was almost frightening to watch him wail on an enemy bare fist and disarmed, to many people make the mistake to think that taking away his guns, and knives leaves them ahead of the game but in actuality, in my honest opinion it made him more animalistic, which was scary… not to mention pretty hot.

Soon after eating I climb back into the truck and maneuver my way out the parking space and back onto the road. Driving slowly my mind wandered off to Westbrook (Frost) again. I kept thinking back to the first day I saw him, the cold dead look behind his eyes, the calculations he held behind that sharp gaze, but there was this warmth behind it, not searing hot, penetrable heat, like a small glow...glow of relief when he saw me standing there with the pistol aimed behind him with my mouth gaping at him with wide worried eyes for his health and safety. He actually smirked at me, like genuine smirk of amusement, but as soon as it was there it was gone. Westbrook doesn’t smile like ‘ever’, very rarely does he smile, there is the usual here and there laugh and smirk but thats it. I have grown to learn his humor isn’t American but rather foreign to an extent, he definitely enjoys his books, a number of them, so whatever fictional world he’s reading about he likes to drop a few references here and there at the most improper times which just gives me a headache knowing he does it just to get his enemy annoyed with him. Westbrook really knows how to push peoples buttons especially with the crap of total silence he carries when you’re talking to him; however, he does show signs of listening which I realized are rather unique ways he ‘s paying attention to you, a tilt of the head to the left is one detail it means I realized (I hope i’m correct) he understands but doesn’t care enough to deal with it. If he looks at his hands, especially inspecting his white line of scars he’s in deep thought of what you’re saying and weighing carefully how to deal with it. He doesn’t talk much to anyone, except to Roach (weird) but he has changed a lot, especially behind his eyes, he looks less cold but more understanding and willing to agree with other things and he has this amused look behind it as well. It brings me a small smile to my face thinking of how much he has grown and changed enough to adjust to the environment around him.


	5. Holiday Welcome

Location: Bronx, New York

Time: 31st December 2014 HOURS 1945 (7:45 p.m.)

FROST

I stared down at the floor panting as I kept pushing up and down feeling the weight on my muscles straining to keep me up as I kept moving, my heart was pounding hard against ribs and the drugs I had taken earlier wasn’t hurting my shoulder so much, but I was definitely pushing myself to those limitations I knew better not to. After a few more I finished and was quickly on my feet and heading toward the shower to freshen up since Truck was coming to pick me up to take me to Sandman’s place. After seeing I was clean enough, I got dried off and dressed in a white button up shirt and a pair of jeans with my best white Puma sneakers on before going and fixing my hair as I took the comb and raked the thick tendril of curls down on my head before dragging my fingers through it lazily fixing it nicely. Quickly I head to my room my brother let me sleep in and fix the bed sheets and blanket. I came out the room and saw his dog “Pudgy” as I recall my brother calling him for his morning walk before he had to leave to go to work. Pudgy followed me into the kitchen as I pulled up the plastic container filled with Lebanese Donair still as one fat, crisp pita bread filled with beef, tomatoes, cinnamon, and parsley. I stacked it on top of the container filled with Lebanese stuffed Zucchini and looked at Pudgy who was just sitting there with drool dripping from his mouth. Shaking my head at him he gave this long whine that just made me cave and go to the leftovers on the other side of the counter and took the meat that was there wrapping into the pita bread and tossed it to him. Pudgy snatched it from the air and just as quickly ripped it open and woofed down the large globs of meat with pieces of the bread with it.  
I jumped when I heard the doorbell ring quickly moving from my spot in the kitchen I quickly went to the door, leaning in close I could see it was Roach waiting on the other side of the door. Unlocking the door I opened it to see Roach there with a big grin on his face, wearing a black leather jacket, with a dark grey V-neck shirt, and a pair of black jeans on with ankle combat boots. It’s always so weird seeing them out of their armor uniform, I noticed his brown eyes take a quick sweep over my body, landing firmly on my neck going down. “See something you like Roach?” I say bluntly as he meets my eyes quickly and shakes his head a bit of pink on his cheeks. Snorting I make my way back to the kitchen and give Pudgy a quick scratch behind the ear and grabbed the container boxes and go out the apartment locking the door behind me.   
The car ride to Sandman’s is loud and boisterous as I watch and listen to Roach and Truck argue over who gets to listen to what on the radio. Truck punched Roach pretty hard in the arm when he made some comment about “Earth, Wind, & Fire” band from Motown. I couldn’t care less since I didn’t grow up listening to that sort of music, having a Lebanese Persian mother, you listened to mostly Lebanese and Iranian music and a German American father you had mostly either Jazz or Rock music shoved down your ear drums. Thinking about the “Blue Eyed Demon” father of mine made my stomach curl and twist as I felt uneasy trying hard not to think so much about him. I just give my head a hard shake and deep sigh as Truck and Roach had stopped arguing and stared at me with narrowed eyes and furrowed eyebrows, Truck looking at me through the rearview mirror and Roach looking right at me from around his seat. Staring back at them I just give a sheepish smile, and shrug at them before looking out through the window with a bland look on my face as my fingers drum across the lids of the containers. The car goes quiet as the song “ Two Steps Behind” starts playing on the radio.  
Upon arriving to the apartment complex we quickly climb out from the 2010 Hummer H3 vehicle as I grabbed the food and followed them up the steps as Truck rang the bell waiting for Sandman to punch us through. We entered after the buzz went off and went up the five flights of stairs and into the hallway to Sandman’s apartment. I paused as I felt my body flush with a sudden rush of blood going down south as I felt myself starting to harden as I felt myself rushing a strong exhale leave my lungs quickly. Truck was knocking on the door as Roach was talking about something important along the lines of how ‘they should plan more meetings together like this one’. Quickly taking a deep breath I moved forward and walked up behind them just in time to see the door open as Sandman stood there with a beer in hand, his sun kissed skin looked just to tempting not to touch. His beard was well groomed and his muscles were near to tight in the V-neck shirt he was wearing low and just teasingly frustrating to deal with, not to mention the faded blue denim jeans he’s wearing are not hiding the bulge in his pants in the slightest. “Damn, Frost you really know how to dress yourself for the occasion, huh?” he said with a smirk that shook me from my daze as I stared right back at him. I just shrugged I really had no how to respond to him, especially not with those damn pale blue eyes staring into mine like that. “I am so fucked” I said to myself inside my head.


	6. New Year Meals

Location: Manhattan, New York; Apartment 5D  
Time: December 31st 2014 HOURS 2025 (8:25 p.m.)

SANDMAN

Standing there watching Frost with a deep thought look on his face as he seemed lost in his own little world. Moving swiftly I stepped to the side and kept the door open for them so they could enter, Frost was still standing there still a bit bewildered as he shuffled from one foot to the other there staring at the plastic containers in his hands. He walked forward and I finally caught his gaze and just…. wow. His eyes are just gorgeous, in this light his blue eyes look just soft and light in color his pupils almost looked dilated but his iris was just swimming in blue just looking fogging almost with a minimum glow to it. I must’ve been staring for to long as Frost started to speak stirring me from my daze. “By any chance could I borrow your oven I need to warm this stuff up since it got cold on the way here.” his voice was like a rumbling storm approaching but smooth all the way to my ears. Nodding dumbly toward him I pointed down to the hallway as to where the kitchen was located at. I watched him nod as he quickly sauntered down the hallway, his ass looks fantastic in those pants. I mumbled to myself as I watched him disappear around a corner as I sighed with relief. He was a lot more handsome than I remember, and those eyes Christ their just tantalizing to stare into. Watching his long legs cross the floor I was drawn immediately to, I couldn’t help but feel the need to be near him right then and there. I was quickly drawn out of my daze by none other than Soap calling me to the porch to help out with the steaks. Leaving my spot I went to where Soap was and helped out with seasoning a few other steaks out in the cold which wasn’t to bad as I threw one at a time on the grill while Soap flipped one here and there keeping a wide variety for the others.

Within a few minutes everything was done being grilled and brought inside, looking to my left I immediately took in the sight of the food that Frost was setting up in the dining room on a large plate as he quickly glanced at me, he seemed spooked but it was gone just as quickly as it came. I dropped my gaze from him to look at the plate of food curiously wondering why there was zucchini plants sitting in a circle on one of the plates. I gave a quirked eyebrow, I stared at the food… (I really hope that’s food) then at Frost who smiled at me as he lifted the lid open of the plant I glanced at the inside which had this overflow of green rice steam pouring out of it. 

“You gonna try it?” Frost questioned as he held a spoon in his hand. 

Turning around I noticed the others had gathered around and we’re all staring at the spoon in Frost hand like I was doing. The guys backed up as I stepped back, as much as I would love to indulge in Frost offering me food that wasn’t in a rationed pack I really felt unsure about this. 

“But, Sandman….. it’s rice?” Frost said as he stared right at me with his brows furrowed and his lips pursed with confusion all over his face, and those damn eyes, how is someone’s eyes that blue? I couldn’t say no to him verbally so I audibly gulped and shook my head at him. He just sighed and put the spoon into the zucchini plant with a sigh. As he soon held up what was a bowl of fluffy pita bread, he picked up one place it on a plate and sliced it open suddenly it felt like the gates of heaven began to pour from the pita bread, it was stuffed with beef and pieces of potato, and sour cream with tomatoes, and pieces of crushed up nuts coming out of it.

“Christ” we all mumbled to ourselves as Frost rolled his eyes at us and put the plate into my free hand as he stared at me.

“Eat it” was all that came from Frost lips as he stared at me stubbornly. Surprising myself I obeyed as I took a mouthful of it from the spoon and chewed, I got a weird look from him as I swallowed it down with a grin. “Not bad” “I know, it’s delicious” Frost said with a small smile before hearing slight coughing coming from behind Sandman as the others in the room were staring at them with cheesy grins. Frost moved from sight heading out the dining room and onto the patio. “Well…… that was intimate” Roach blurted out as he grabbed a plate and threw a steak on top of it with some mashed potatoes. “Shut up, Roach” Truck said from the doorway while I made a plate myself and glanced at the direction of where Frost had went to.


	7. Coming to Terms

Location: Bronx, New York, Apartment 5D

Time: 31st December 2014 HOURS 2030 (8:30 p.m.)

FROST

I stood on the patio staring at the city bright lights in every direction looking at the white snowflakes descend slowly down to the dirty murky streets below as taxis and cars drove over the ice covered pavements staining the pure white snow to a dirty black color. Looking upwards to the black sky above me I wished the sky could swallow me up and make me disappear from that stupid act I pulled in the dining room with Sandman. Of all the things I could do? That! Sighing once more I watched my cold frost like breath escape my lips and disappear into the night. You get a hard on in front of your commander, and try feeding him? But he also did eat from you, who knows might be a connection right there? 

I just shook my head at the stupidity of my own thoughts, as I heard the honking and shouting of a taxi driver and a man down below. I watched them argue for awhile before watching them separate and part ways obviously grumpy at that interaction. Looking over my shoulder I watched the gang sit and eat or talk and walk around the apartment of Sandman’s.

How lovely? I kinda wanna know something with you? Why not go for it? The worse he could say is ‘No’.

I feel like my thought process is hating me now, as I snorted at the statement responding coldly inside my head,“You know why, I keep it to myself because it’s not welcomed with wide open arms.”

Well that’s stupid, you’re not a little boy anymore grow up!

“Look who’s talking, this is why you’re a thought process and I do all the talking” 

So stupid! Yeah, really stupid man! Think of it like this, be with the one you love and be rejected based on your ‘free will’ or ignore the potential person you could spend the rest of your days with and remain miserable and be LONELY!

The mocking sound of my thoughts wasn’t healthy to listen to all that much as I ran a hand through my hair with groan, it’s cold as shit out here.

It’s gonna be colder with the blue balls you’re gonna continue to have ignoring with what’s right in front of you dumbass.

“You sound like Roach and that’s starting to scare me now.”

Not as scary as the decisions you continue to make as this goes on. I feel like you’re ignoring the big picture of your wants, not so much on the idea of who you’re actually scared of. Am I right?

Silence was my response to that question.

Ha! Damn I’m good! You’re still scared of the big bad ‘ Blue Eyed Demon’ or is it ‘Maadar’ you’re scared of the most?

Silence was my response to that question now.

Oh! Maybe….. maybe it’s Allah you’re scared of the most instead of ‘Maadar’ and the ‘Blue Eyed Demon’..... it’s understandable to be frightened of the force of nature you can’t control, anyone would be…… even you Derek.

“I’m not scared of Allah, ‘Maadar’ or…….. or him, I just think it’s easier to avoid it is all.” I said to myself stretching as I noticed an Arab man and woman walking together down the street.

Bullshit! You’ve always been scared of Allah and Maadar and the Blue Eyed Demon , they scared you more than the boogeyman, or the school bullies. The fear you really are scared of is not being understood by them let alone being accepted. You think they’ll have you burn over something you can’t control yourself over. If you could you would be straight right?

“I’m not-” I was immediately cut off all of a sudden by my thinking process.

Yes you are! Stop lying to yourself it’s exhausting to say the least especially with the crap you mock yourself up with.

“That’s not true” I said to myself maybe more to myself then the voice inside of my head.

Bullshit once again! Dude you carry around a little black book full of gay porn, and you say you’re not gay? Come on if Allah has a physical form he would call you out on your bullshit with a smack to the back of your head, for that incredible amount of stupidity.

“Fuck off will ya!” I caught myself from shouting that out loud as I glanced over my shoulder at the door behind me of Sandman standing there with a DVD in hand as he raised a brow at me in deep concern of what my face must being saying.

No! Admit it you’re gay, mightily gay beyond words! 

“Shut up already” I grumbled to myself as I gave nod to him while holding up two fingers he gave a thumbs up before going to the living room as I watched him go, only making me sigh a bit loudly, just to get my thought process to shut up.

Fine, go in there and don’t get a massive hard on when you look at Sandman then or to be more precise Master Sergeant Andrew ‘Sandman’ Mcbride.  
.

“Fine I will, just shut up asshole.” I grumbled to myself once more before turning around and entering the apartment and scanned the room seeing Sandman sipping from his bottle of beer again and I gulped feeling the blood rushing down south again making my thoughts chuckle as I stared at the floor in embarrassment.

Told you so.

“I can’t win, I swear” I said inside of my head with a groan.


	8. Conversations

Location: Manhattan, New York; Apartment 5D  
Time: December 31st 2014 HOURS 2055 (8:55 p.m.)

SANDMAN

Watching Frost outside I could only assume he was arguing with himself over some sort of contradiction with his thoughts as I pushed around the slices of of steak across my paper plate. Looking up from my plate I noticed the ‘Blue Eyed Wonder’ walk back in and take a seat across from Grinch on the couch facing the flat screen TV. He had turned his head toward Grinch and started to speak in a low voice. Turning back to Truck, who was sitting next to me I finally realized he was talking to me.

“So my cousin Marilyn goes up to my sister Naomi and says to her ‘a college graduate doing drugs is just as bad as a drug dealer who sellls drugs to a little kid’, Sandy you should’ve seen the look on my sister’s face, because she’s doing a Thesis on the Corruption of the law of drugs and college students.”

“Isn’t your cousin Marilyn a recovering drug addict who became part of the Muslim religion in order to redeem her soul?”

“Something of the sort I guess, she’s more part of a radical group of crazy people”

“So she’s in a cult of Muslims?”

Truck just shrugged at me as he took a swig from his drink I shook my head at the little madness of the world we live in. Looking over at Frost he was smirking at Grinch who was holding a hand against his mouth, his face red and hair disheveled. The voice in the kitchen drew my attention away from the two sitting on the couches. 

“Dude listen you need to calm down…..I…..I know….Stop yelling! I’m aware of that! Yelling doesn’t resolve a lot of issues like this one” There was silence before hearing how loud Roach yelled “Shit” from my kitchen followed by footsteps the front door opening then slamming shut.

“Wonder what all that was about.” Truck said next to me as he sipped from his drink again.

Shrugging I turned just in time to see Frost getting up and going after Roach making me blink completely dumbfounded as to why Frost, of all people was chasing after him I had the urge to get up but Grinch put his hand up stopping me from my movement.

"Let em go Sandy, this is Westbrook territory anyway."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It just means Westbrook can handle this better than you, Sandman."


End file.
